In the long-ago days of Nutkinland, there was once a thread on Celebrity DMs. In that thread, we described various celebrity DMs running Monte Cook's Orc and Pie. One poster, Doomsdaisy, did it as Dr. Suess.

DM Seuss: Would you fight an orc for pie?

Krusk: I will not fight an orc for pie, I do not fight him, Krusk am I.

DM Seuss: Would you fight him in a cave? Would you fight him with a stave?

Krusk: I would not fight him in a cave, I would not fight him with a stave. I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.

DM Seuss: Would you fight him with a troll, would you score a critical roll?

Krusk: I would not fight him with a troll, I would not score a critical roll, I would not fight him in a cave, I would not fight him with a stave.

DM Seuss: Would you fight him in a moat? Would you fight him on a goat?

Krusk: Not in a moat, not on a goat, not with a troll, no critical roll. I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.

DM Seuss: Would you, could you, in a bar? Fight him, fight him, here he are!

Krusk: I would not, could not in a bar.

DM Seuss: You may fight him, before you sleep, you may fight him in a keep!

Krusk: I would not, could not in a keep. Not in a bar, you let me sleep! I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I!

DM Seuss: A mace, a mace, a mace, a magic mace! Could you would you for a magic mace?

Krusk: Not for a mace, not in a keep, not in a bar, just LET ME SLEEP! I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk Am I.

DM Seuss: Say! With a spell? Blast with a spell? Would you, could you with a spell?

Krusk: I would not could not with a spell.

DM Seuss: Would you, could you in extradimensional space?

Krusk: I would not, could not in extradimensional space, not with a spell, not for a mace. I will not fight this orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk Am I!

DM Seuss: Would you, could you for a gem?

Krusk: I would not, could not for a gem.

DM Seuss: Would you fight him with other men?

Krusk: I would not could not for a gem, I would not fight with other men. I will not fight this orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.

DM Seuss: You may not fight them, so you say, just roll, just roll, and you may! Just roll, just roll, you may, I say!

Krusk: Bah! If you will let me be, I will fight them. You will see.
Say! I do like fighting orc for pie! I do. I'll fight him, Krusk am I!
I will fight him with other men.
And I will fight him for a gem.
And I will fight him in extradimensional space.
And with a spell.
And for a magic mace.
And in a keep.
And in a bar.
This is fun! Forget about sleep!
So I will fight him with a troll.
And I will make a critical roll.
And I will fight him on a goat.
And I will fight him in a moat.
And I will fight him in a cave.
And I will fight him with a stave.
I will fight, its blood I crave!
I do so like fighting orcs for pie! Thank you, thank you!
Krusk am I.

The original thread is here
http://p078.ezboard.com/fnutkinlandfrm27.showMessage?topicID=3.topic

though you leave the safety of Eric's Grandma here. IOW there may be profanity and such.

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